Finding Faith in the 'Why': Pope Francis on Grieving with God
We never ask for grief and trauma to invade our lives, and yet they follow many of us around and burden us with painful memories. Often, when tragedy strikes, it leaves a wound so deep that after a while we start to wonder if it will ever heal. The loss of a child or another loved one is especially devastating. In a recent address to a group of mourning parents, Pope Francis offered comfort and compassion in the face of unimaginable tragedy.
The Pope's Message to Grieving Parents
Sometimes, it is all we can do to come to God with our questions. Pope Francis assured the parents mourning the loss of their children that it is not a sign of weakness to dwell on the questions they find themselves asking. Actually, it is an act of deep faith to talk to God about the uncertainty and the sorrow that the loss of a loved one brings about. God loves when those who feel overwhelmed by their grief bring their questions, doubts, pain, and trauma before Him. As a beloved hymn reminds us, “What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear! / What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!”
Pope Francis remarked that there is nothing worse than to silence trauma or to bottle up feelings of grief and sorrow. Often, we get the message that we should be strong, not let the pain get to us, move on without skipping a beat. Many of us have felt that the comfort people try to give us actually isn’t all that comforting. More often than not, grief is not something we can handle on our own, and yet we struggle to know how to comfort others in their times of grief. In these moments when grief is deeper than we know how to handle, the Pope reminds us of the power of faith and compassion. Faith is like the needle of a compass that directs us to hope and healing, and compassion is like a soft voice telling us it will all be ok.
Questions That Haunt the Grieving Heart
Sometimes we can feel as though our fears, questions, and anxieties are too broken or not holy enough to talk to God about. In his words to bereaved parents, Pope Francis reminds us that prayer is a safe place, even for the questions we bottle up. Prayer, the Pope says, can take on many forms. There’s a man in the Bible called Job. He was very rich and powerful, and he had a large family who brought him much joy, until one day a series of disasters took that all away. As he mourned, Job repeatedly asked the question, “Why, Lord?” This was Job’s prayer, and sometimes our prayers will look like this too. Taking our questions to God in the midst of mourning is a sign of a deep, meaningful relationship with the Lord.
The Healing Power of Voicing Our Suffering
Some questions just nag at our hearts, demanding answers that we don’t have yet. When we face unimaginable grief and trauma, we are filled with these nagging questions, and it can be really isolating and painful if we keep them bottled up. There’s something in psychology called “the talking cure” which describes how healing and powerful it can be for us to open up about our painful experiences. When grief and trauma trap us in a cycle of pain and isolation, what we need is for someone to show us compassion, just like Jesus does. The Bible calls Jesus a “man of sorrows” and reminds us that he is “acquainted with grief” (Isaiah 53:1). Jesus chooses to walk alongside us on the long and painful journey through grief. We can trust God with our anxieties “because He cares for us” (1 Peter 5:7).
God's Response to Our Suffering
Let’s pick up on the story of Job. In the end, God does not give Job a simple explanation for why he had to go through so much grief and suffering. Instead, God offers Himself. God assures Job that He can be trusted, and He is present with Job in the midst of his sufferings. He talks with Job and guides him through it. In the end, God restores Job with even greater blessings than before. In the midst of grief and suffering, God doesn’t always give us straightforward or easy answers, but He does walk with us, comforting us with His compassion and His presence. As King David says in Psalm 23:4, God is with us even in the darkest valleys to guide us and to comfort us.
Inviting Jesus Into Our Homes and Hearts
God is not afraid of our trauma, and he does not leave us alone in our grief. Pope Francis reminds us of how God wants to get to know us personally and how He wants to play a leading role in our healing from grief. Faith in Jesus provides us with a way to tap into that special relationship with the Lord and provides a path for the truth of His love to touch us in the deepest, darkest places of our lives. When we feel overwhelmed by sorrow and isolated by grief, God reaches out a hand to pull us up.
What can we do to receive this wonderful gift of God’s love and compassion? Like Pope Francis compassionately reminds us, we can convert our questions to prayers and talk to God about our grief and trauma. We can participate in showing God’s compassion to others, which often ends up lightening up our own loads too. And finally, we can try to find people who will share the wisdom and comfort they have received from God in their own sufferings (2 Corinthians 1:4).
Call to Action
The path to restoration from grief and trauma is one you don’t have to walk alone. Our counseling practice would love to come alongside you by providing a caring, compassionate space for you to experience healing. One of the ways we are equipped to do this is through faith-informed EMDR therapy, where together we process the feelings of grief and pain that are associated with loss and trauma and seek the Lord’s path for healing and restoration.
We’re here for you, and we're offering complimentary consultations to get started. There's a limited number available, so reaching out sooner rather than later means we can begin this journey together. We are excited to walk with you as you step out of a place of grief and sorrow and into the Lord’s peace.