How to Shift Someone Else’s Negative Energy

A compassionate approach for grief, trauma, and emotional overwhelm

When you’re already carrying emotional pain, someone else’s stress can feel like too much.

Whether you’re grieving a loss, navigating trauma recovery, or simply trying to stay grounded through difficult relationships—being around intense emotions can leave you exhausted, reactive, or even spiritually disconnected.

In my recent webinar, How to Shift Someone Else’s Negative Energy, I shared faith-based tools to help you protect your peace—even when others are overwhelmed.

This message is especially for those who feel:

• Drained by caregiving

• Pulled into family conflict

• Overwhelmed by others’ anxiety or grief

• Triggered in trauma recovery

• Unsure how to stay spiritually anchored in stressful interactions

Why Other People’s Emotions Affect Us So Deeply

God created us to be emotionally attuned to each other. It’s part of how we love well. But sometimes, that emotional connection becomes entanglement—especially if you’re already walking through something heavy yourself.

From a brain science perspective, this happens because of mirror neurons—a part of your nervous system that automatically reflects others’ emotional states. If someone near you is anxious or grieving, you might start to feel that energy yourself.

But here’s the hope: you can learn to shift the emotional atmosphere, starting with your own internal state.

Step One: Shift Yourself First

When you’re in distress—or around someone who is—the first thing to do is ground yourself. In the webinar, I guide you through a practice called PQ reps (short for Positive Intelligence repetitions), which help calm your survival brain and restore peace.

These practices are simple:

• Rubbing your fingertips together slowly

• Focusing on the sound of your breath

• Noticing colors, textures, or shapes around you

• Pairing your breath with Scripture (e.g. “Be still and know that I am God”)

These are spiritual and neurological tools that help you pause, recenter, and reconnect with God—even in the midst of emotional chaos.

Step Two: Respond from a Place of Peace

Once you’re grounded, you can begin to shift the interaction itself. We do this through what I call the “sage brain”—the part of you that reflects the fruit of the Spirit. That looks like:

• Empathy – recognizing the pain under the person’s reaction

• Curiosity – wondering what’s happening in them instead of taking it personally

• Creativity – responding with compassion and calm, not just instinct

For those in grief or trauma recovery, this isn’t always easy. But over time, you’ll build emotional and spiritual muscles that help you stay steady when others are struggling.

Step Three: Protect the Peace You’ve Created

Sometimes, no matter how well you respond, the other person stays in distress. That’s okay. You’re not responsible for fixing or rescuing them.

What you can do is protect your own peace.

• Step away if needed

• Practice quiet presence

• Go back to PQ reps

• Pray for guidance on when to engage and when to release

In the webinar, I talk about using these tools even in the most intense seasons—like when I was walking through my own deep grief. If you’re in a hard place right now, you’re not alone.

There is hope. And there are ways to stay emotionally and spiritually anchored, even in the hardest moments.

Watch the Webinar Replay

You can watch the full webinar replay here —and try the PQ exercises with me in real time.

You Don’t Have to Carry What’s Not Yours

If you’re walking through grief, trauma, or overwhelming emotions, I want you to know this:

• You can stay present without being pulled under.

• You can care deeply without carrying more than you’re meant to.

• You can be grounded in peace—because the Prince of Peace walks with you.

Want to go deeper?

• Take the free saboteur assessment to discover what’s been hijacking your peace

• ✨ Learn more about our 7-week Christian mental fitness program here